The more I write about how we DaddyYo’s need to express and “be there” as much as we can for our LittleYo’s, the more I grow concerned about jeopardizing the good thing we DaddyYO’s have; lower parenting expectations than MommyYO.
Four score and a million diapers ago our fathers brought forth the role of the “DaddyYO” conceived in low expectations, and dedicated to the proposition that all men really don’t want any responsibility, at all.
It’s kind of funny to think back to a prehistoric time of the caveman who habits and role in the family still lurks in the current patriarchal hierarchy. DaddyCaveYO leaving the cave to hunt and gather dinner while MommyCaveYO stayed behind, piercing their nipples and getting butterfly tattoos on their lower back side, teaching and caring for our LittleCaveYO’s. Even though times have changed, just a little bit, and now both parents work, those lessons still run deep in our psyche and are now firmly rooted into the DNA of our current generation. Is this why DaddyYO gets no credit or reference in parenting books and websites? However, I have learned an important lesson.
I don't want credit, give all the credit to MommyYO. More credit equals more work, higher expectations and more responsibility. Rather than complaining about not enough of DaddyYO recognition on websites, TV, and books I'm become a fan of the current societal image of low parental expectations. So let's relish in our DaddyYO images and can I get a prehistoric AMEN!
I’m confident, there will be some naysayer who will oppose and deny this claim. I laugh at you, as I sit on my couch, in my cave, playing Call of Duty, Modern Warfare (Which is Awesome!)
Depending on your perspective, we'll always live in prehistoric times. Do we want to exceed DaddyYO patriarchal expectations and become more involved in areas we don't wish to become more involved in, like changing more diapers. Nope. If we did, the result on our futures roles could be catastrophic. We must fulfill the destiny of our forefathers, maintain low DaddyYO expectations in society and pass on “the good life” to our LittleYo’s .
Therefore, we MUST tell our MommyYO’s how much we love them, how much we appreciate them and how much we desperately need them!. Tell MommyYO EVERYDAY and than REPEAT. Do it for the future DaddyYO's, Do it for our forefather's and history of daddyo kind. Mommy is the center of the family, deal with it or change more diapers. Your choice?
Don’t hate the caveman, blame history! Relish in the patriarchal consequences.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Be a Man and Buy Knee Pads. - haha
Getting on the ground with LittleYO and playing, is very important to both me and LittleYo. It's also been a reminder of my age and how certain parts of my body are not what they used to be; My knees.
Running on my knees chasing LittleYo, to be able to stop, go and spin like a breeze is important if I don't want him catching me on my way to my next hiding spot. It's the most exciting part of my day. However, After 10 min, I'm left coughing up a lung with bruised and busted knee caps. It sucks.
I joined the gym and started running ONCE again this past week. I'm hoping I can keep it up longer than the last time " I started" working out. However, this time, I'm not doing it for myself. This time, I'm doing it for my family, for LittleYO.
So far - so good, ran 9 miles this week. I think back to the time when I ran the NYC marathon and my finish time was 3:51 min. I have no idea how I did that, but I know I could do it. Maybe someday I'll try again.
So feeling better about myself, I was in Target and came across some knee pads. Yes, you heard me right. I picked them up thinking to myself "Please, don't buy knee pads, please!" I felt there was so many (selfish) reasons why not to buy them, more importantly, I needed to buy something else. There was no way I was going up the register with just knee pads. Long story short, came across a "ManChair" for LittleyO and there I was, buying knee pad and manchair at the register.
I ran around last night, on my knees for a good 30 min, my knees feel great. LittleYO laughed like a little elf and when we are are done- we ChillyYo'd in our man chairs.
So be a man and buy knee pads. I guess so.
Running on my knees chasing LittleYo, to be able to stop, go and spin like a breeze is important if I don't want him catching me on my way to my next hiding spot. It's the most exciting part of my day. However, After 10 min, I'm left coughing up a lung with bruised and busted knee caps. It sucks.
I joined the gym and started running ONCE again this past week. I'm hoping I can keep it up longer than the last time " I started" working out. However, this time, I'm not doing it for myself. This time, I'm doing it for my family, for LittleYO.
So far - so good, ran 9 miles this week. I think back to the time when I ran the NYC marathon and my finish time was 3:51 min. I have no idea how I did that, but I know I could do it. Maybe someday I'll try again.
So feeling better about myself, I was in Target and came across some knee pads. Yes, you heard me right. I picked them up thinking to myself "Please, don't buy knee pads, please!" I felt there was so many (selfish) reasons why not to buy them, more importantly, I needed to buy something else. There was no way I was going up the register with just knee pads. Long story short, came across a "ManChair" for LittleyO and there I was, buying knee pad and manchair at the register.
I ran around last night, on my knees for a good 30 min, my knees feel great. LittleYO laughed like a little elf and when we are are done- we ChillyYo'd in our man chairs.
So be a man and buy knee pads. I guess so.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
DaddyYo loves you!
Love is not something DaddyYo's usually talk about, not sure why. I'm going to try and figure it out.
Love is as much a DaddyYO thing as it's a MommyYO thing. Its a human thing. There's no denying it. However, more parenting sites/books speak to MommyYO if at all DaddyYO. Why is that? (Love the Dad-blog!)
Those DaddyYo’s who tell and teach their LittleYo's the meaning of Love from the start, probably went through hard times in their own lives to truly understand the word; which makes these DaddyYo’s tougher than most. However, lack of communicating this LOVE and caught up in the old ways of the world in which we were raised has put DaddYO in the back chapters of parenting books and on the 2nd string "parent team".
Love is a powerful thing, almost alien. Love overrides those less useful emotions like hate, insecurity etc. Therefore, the more we say "I Love you" to our LittleYo’s the more we're both empowered as human beings. The more human powers we can control, like our emotions, the more we control our situational outcomes. The sooner you understand this, the better you are off in this crazy world.
We DaddyYo’s need to step it up and not only be more of a teacher of this most important and powerful emotion but to communicate it more openly. Don’t worry; it won’t make your pecker any smaller.
No Dude wants to share his full range of emotions, especially love. When was the last time you’re drinking beers with your buddies, playing poker talking about love? Sounds funny, not sure why it is…I guess its how we were raised as kids, social acceptance and gender specific behavior that effects who we become as adults. We are taught this from birth like having your room painted blue for boys and pink for girls. I’m not saying for us men to sit around for hours talking about Love…C’mon!
I know, It’s a sensitive DaddyYo subject. We are all at fault. For example when I'm sad, I don't cry, I scream and yell (never at MommyYo!) at the top of my lungs because it more gender appropriate response for a man to scream rather than cry. I’m cool with it. It’s what I learned and how I was programmed growing up. Another example, reading this blog entry about “Love” (I can’t even believe some of the things I’m writing) the whole thing sounds gay. This is all a clear testament of the change that needs to take place within us, DaddyYo’s. I’m not scared.
The lesson learned is simple; by not communicating and sharing this intense emotion we not only dwarf our own spiritual and family growth but have passed on the "meat head" genes to our LittleYo’s. We all want the best for our LittleYo’s, our families and for Meat heads to just go away. Maybe someday parenting sites and books will reference more of the DaddyYO and give us the credit and recognition we deserve.
Remember, DaddyYO loves you!
Love is as much a DaddyYO thing as it's a MommyYO thing. Its a human thing. There's no denying it. However, more parenting sites/books speak to MommyYO if at all DaddyYO. Why is that? (Love the Dad-blog!)
Those DaddyYo’s who tell and teach their LittleYo's the meaning of Love from the start, probably went through hard times in their own lives to truly understand the word; which makes these DaddyYo’s tougher than most. However, lack of communicating this LOVE and caught up in the old ways of the world in which we were raised has put DaddYO in the back chapters of parenting books and on the 2nd string "parent team".
Love is a powerful thing, almost alien. Love overrides those less useful emotions like hate, insecurity etc. Therefore, the more we say "I Love you" to our LittleYo’s the more we're both empowered as human beings. The more human powers we can control, like our emotions, the more we control our situational outcomes. The sooner you understand this, the better you are off in this crazy world.
We DaddyYo’s need to step it up and not only be more of a teacher of this most important and powerful emotion but to communicate it more openly. Don’t worry; it won’t make your pecker any smaller.
No Dude wants to share his full range of emotions, especially love. When was the last time you’re drinking beers with your buddies, playing poker talking about love? Sounds funny, not sure why it is…I guess its how we were raised as kids, social acceptance and gender specific behavior that effects who we become as adults. We are taught this from birth like having your room painted blue for boys and pink for girls. I’m not saying for us men to sit around for hours talking about Love…C’mon!
I know, It’s a sensitive DaddyYo subject. We are all at fault. For example when I'm sad, I don't cry, I scream and yell (never at MommyYo!) at the top of my lungs because it more gender appropriate response for a man to scream rather than cry. I’m cool with it. It’s what I learned and how I was programmed growing up. Another example, reading this blog entry about “Love” (I can’t even believe some of the things I’m writing) the whole thing sounds gay. This is all a clear testament of the change that needs to take place within us, DaddyYo’s. I’m not scared.
The lesson learned is simple; by not communicating and sharing this intense emotion we not only dwarf our own spiritual and family growth but have passed on the "meat head" genes to our LittleYo’s. We all want the best for our LittleYo’s, our families and for Meat heads to just go away. Maybe someday parenting sites and books will reference more of the DaddyYO and give us the credit and recognition we deserve.
Remember, DaddyYO loves you!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
What you can learn from UncleYO: "Be there" - so easy...so valuable!
I'm not talking about some "solution", maybe I am. DaddyYO for one full year and my responsibilities, no question, have changed. From the younger years of having no responsibility to today, I guess we all change; I guess so does my purpose.
The question is do we have "A Purpose", do we have many purposes, does it even matter?
Its a question, I more often ask myself. I know five years ago, my purpose was to A) get laid B) make lots of money, so someday I can settle down and get married. Never giving "the later" much thought in my youth because it was completely out of my realm of understanding. Looking back, that thought process doesn't even make any sense, but it was my purpose.
Finally, Adulthood. The stage of life I never thought I'd reach. It's different but it also beautiful thing. It almost doesn't seem possible to be where I am now. Ask my friends and they tell you three years ago that A) no women would ever marry me because I'm crazy B) To teach a child values and a purpose according to what I know and learned thus far in my life would be very scary. I agree.
However, somewhere along the way, almost subconsciously, my purpose (values) was slowly changing, almost preparing me for what my future had in store. Looking back, of course, I see this change slowly occurring now. Today, I'm def more prepared, excited (not scared) to teach and show my son his world, to be his guide along the way. To help answer his questions that will open up more possibilities and more questions...This is my new purpose. Is it? Sort of....
During LittleYO birthday party a few weeks back, I turned to my my UncleVinYo and said "WOW, Can't believe he's 1 years old. That was quick. Now what?" UncleYo turned to me and said three words "Just Be There". I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked him. He replied "Be there when he's sick, be there when he's happy, sad, be there for his first game, his first day of school, his first date. Just be there!"
WOWWY Howie! UncleYO is right! and so no doubt I may be over thinking this whole purpose thing and maybe it is easier by "Just being there". It's the best advice I have received thus far as a DaddyYO. So no matter what my purpose is now or what it becomes later it doesn't matter because I will always be there- until he figures this out for himself - at 34 years old!
...JUST BE THERE. That was awesome. Thank you UncleYO!
The question is do we have "A Purpose", do we have many purposes, does it even matter?
Its a question, I more often ask myself. I know five years ago, my purpose was to A) get laid B) make lots of money, so someday I can settle down and get married. Never giving "the later" much thought in my youth because it was completely out of my realm of understanding. Looking back, that thought process doesn't even make any sense, but it was my purpose.
Finally, Adulthood. The stage of life I never thought I'd reach. It's different but it also beautiful thing. It almost doesn't seem possible to be where I am now. Ask my friends and they tell you three years ago that A) no women would ever marry me because I'm crazy B) To teach a child values and a purpose according to what I know and learned thus far in my life would be very scary. I agree.
However, somewhere along the way, almost subconsciously, my purpose (values) was slowly changing, almost preparing me for what my future had in store. Looking back, of course, I see this change slowly occurring now. Today, I'm def more prepared, excited (not scared) to teach and show my son his world, to be his guide along the way. To help answer his questions that will open up more possibilities and more questions...This is my new purpose. Is it? Sort of....
During LittleYO birthday party a few weeks back, I turned to my my UncleVinYo and said "WOW, Can't believe he's 1 years old. That was quick. Now what?" UncleYo turned to me and said three words "Just Be There". I wasn't sure what he meant so I asked him. He replied "Be there when he's sick, be there when he's happy, sad, be there for his first game, his first day of school, his first date. Just be there!"
WOWWY Howie! UncleYO is right! and so no doubt I may be over thinking this whole purpose thing and maybe it is easier by "Just being there". It's the best advice I have received thus far as a DaddyYO. So no matter what my purpose is now or what it becomes later it doesn't matter because I will always be there- until he figures this out for himself - at 34 years old!
...JUST BE THERE. That was awesome. Thank you UncleYO!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
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