Stop, Look and Listen YO!

There has been a lot change for DaddyYO over the last year.  Regardless of the situations being positive or negative,  does it really matter? Change is good.  I do in fact feel myself growing wiser and some say "more mature".  However, I always believed, even as a kid, an older age does not constitute being more wise. Just ask littleYO. He reminds me everyday with his genius (genuine) responses.

DaddyYO: "What would you like to be when you grow up? "
LittleYO: "A kid"

Instinctively I always assume what my kids response will be before I ask.  I was ready for any response on this question and still the response he gave caught me by surprise. I thought about his reply for a while. I usually think about what my kids say in response to my life-worn, tired, run-down sometimes parental canned questions.  Yet, my kids comments help to breath life back into my own (once) youthful existence. Lets face it,  my own thinking at 37 years old is a combination of subconscious/involuntary learned lessons and unbeknownst to me (until now) has made me less of a kid! wtf...I was robbed!

Age is a mechanic of the body to which our minds are governed.  People/kids are simply acting their age by reacting off of each other; all day, everyday; for our entire lives. Pretty tiresome. We think about everything, analyze everything and talk about everything.  At some point we need to replace/upgrade our own thought process with a new updated version of perspective. We can not be the same people we were in high school, college or 5 years ago. We all need to continue to grow and learn. Otherwise you might be among the many parents I see who lose themselves to their "old-selves" eventually turning into their own parents. 

I see everything in life as a smaller sample of something larger than itself.  For example, large crowds react similarly to the smallest cells in our own bodies. So by studying smaller samples of living organism we can understand larger populations. To better myself as a DaddyYO I thrive on understanding the emotional/physical context of my kids behavior and thoughts.  I listen and try not to implement totalitarian control over my kids we instinctively do as parents. ( Do this!, Don't do that!, NO!).  Our kids thoughts are no more or less important than our own; at any age. By just listening/communicating with my littleYO's has given me a tremendous new perspective on my own life and a youthful glimpse into my future. I am a better person because of this and revived!

Truth: Kids, are in fact, smarter than adults.  Adults need to stop teaching all day, everyday and just listen. kids actions and comments will reveal genuine truth, honesty and love, all instinctively because I believe we are all born good people! Adults can not do this as well as kids because this ability withers away with age because of natural (environmental & social) adaptation. 

So maybe age is a state in which we are conscious of being and we are all acting our age from 3 to 37 years old.....but what if youth is in fact something we can hold on to forever; even in old age??

Ask your kids " Describe DaddyYO  and MommyYO in your own words."  Adults only glimpse into their own true being is through their children's eyes; which is why parents are mostly yelling at them all the time!!!  Not only is nothing is as it seems for an kid, adults are equally blinded.  If all we do is teach our kids to listen, who is there to teach adults the same things....stop, look and listen to our littleYO's! It might be our only way into a youthful happy future because  I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

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Life-Delicate-Balance

A sense of guilt for not writing as much since CookieYO came into my happier life. I started to think by the time she is 16 years old, she will look back at this blog and see so many posts about LittleYO and very little posts about her. I started feeling guilty. I started digging deeper into my feeling of guilt rather than react by coming online and typing something great and special about my little girl. which she very much is.....

Its funny how feelings pre determine the thoughts which we base our decisions that predict our actions; which we are all measured and judged by in this life.  The point of this blog is not only to show my kids down the road how much they mean to me but to chronicle my thoughts. To show them, after I am long gone, a path of thought that nobody else can teach to them like their DaddyYO- and they understand just by being my LittleYO's.

We learn our entire lives until the day we die. It never stops. We go to school, religion, play sports and learn lesson after lesson and POOF...we are educated.  If we were the child of every professor, coach and priest we ever learned from - we all would be enlightened. Because of this parent-child bond we understand whats being taught and conceptualize everything more clearly because of less outside interference.  Each thought is more pure; because of less interception/interference. This parent-child bond can not be duplicated by any teacher, religion or coach and so it goes...literally.

Over the last 6 months I've been trying to have more control over my thoughts; which has had a tremendous (positive) impact on my personal life. By thought-stopping Ive realized not only myself but everyone around me is on "auto pilot". Like people, the mind gets lazy and so we subconsciously create mental scripts for most situations so the mind can feel at ease with a routine and assume answers and conclusions.

The problem is the actions we make are half drawn conclusions based on inaccurate mental scripts/expectations to which we react and make very real. Basically everyone is crazy because they are reacting to something that does not exist only in their head. SCARY!

Control your thoughts, control your actions. Control your actions and your more in control of your life. For those who question all of this, keep questioning...maybe someday you will get it.

DaddyYO


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THE FAT SECURITY SYSTEM

On the boardwalk with LittleYO where I run everyday

We all, in some way shape or form, have this diluted self image of ourselves.  Some more accurate than others.  My self image was not accurate.   Relying on loves ones to tell me I was getting fat....Id still be waiting. I needed to take control and ownership of my current physical state.

At what point do we say to ourselves " I made myself this way. I made myself fat by eating the wrong things for years" instead of coming up with excuses like "having kids will do that to ya" or "I don't have time" "work is busy"- After 70 days of P90x and cardio, I realized my mind and body, without me noticing, had formed this mutualistic  relationship. When in fact ( and I have learned) they are two very different entities that should be behaving separately from each other; not controlled by one or the other.

I needed to break up this relationship between what my mind wanted to eat and what my hand reached for. It was overwhelming to realize this marriage between the two, like husband and wife. My mind, the wife and my hand, the husband. The husband reaching for whatever food the mind suggested.  I have become a "physical hand pussy"- not being able to stand up to what my mind suggested via thoughts. I was taken over by bad habits and before ever lifting a weight or pressing play on the DVD workout program...I needed a game plan. A plan to outsmart a mind that knew me all too well. I needed to break into myself and rewire the hard drive.

Now that I noticed, It was scary the number of appearances my bad habits made through out my day ... I knew by just working out it will not be the, long term, solution. "I'm going to destroy this way of thinking". It wasn't going to be easy, as I realized my fat mindedness over the years and unbeknownst to me has been busy at work building layers upon layers of what I call a "FAT SECURITY SYSTEM" . In the beginning of my "journey" my eating habits impenetrable I couldn't change them- I craved and craved...nothing I ate was enough. The security was tight, and no good eating habits got in for weeks. The rate of excuses why I shouldn't work out and why french fries are actually good for you doubled even tripled.  The harder I tried, the more excuses my body created.

Finally, I broke in...and got into my mind.  I saw her. We looked at each other, it was an intense stare down - she knew and so did I...game on. At that moment she speared a thought of a bagel and cream cheese-  lightly toasted with fresh tomato. Bitch!

Mind is scary place. The walls were thick almost sound proof, the floors made of gummy and the lights were strobe - it was difficult to see. She was trying to disorientate me. I knew this was just another layer of the FAT SECURITY SYSTEM my mind had created for this very day. The day I decided there will be no more french fries, no more five chocolate donuts nights or 4 slice pizza parties. I screamed it loud to deliver my message to her in person; it echoed...my mind was dizzy, my body drenched in sweat, my heart was 183 bpm. I was on mile 8 for the 4th time in 3 weeks.  I had her against the ropes. She's human...I needed to push harder, faster, go for one more, don't stop ....or you will die. Repeat.

Before

I didn't stop. I'm still going peeling away layers of this FAT SECURITY  SYSTEM every single day. Celebrating the small victories like choosing tuna and broccoli instead of bacon burger, french fries (Yummm) - My mind is so mad, I have her cuffed and stuffed in a corner where nobody can find her....pushing myself to run one more mile and to press play ( after the kids go to sleep) on the p90X program 6 days a week. Counting calories on my loseit app on my iphone, tracking calories with my fitbit device and measuring distance with Nike+ GPS on my runs.  Getting to know my heart with Garmin FORRUNNER and measuring my pace, speed and how my body is reacting to all of it. It does sound like a bit much but these tools have made it easier for me to shed the weight, fast. With technology and the tools I am empowered with information my mind had no idea. it was stuck in the 70's with its Strob lights. I'm on my way to rewiring my mind with better habits forever....the equation is easy to follow. Getting up and doing it is the trick. The Fat Security system makes it more difficult:

Calories in < calories out = weight loss

Control your mind, sometimes by force, and everything else will follow...but before you can do it for your family, you have to do it for yourself.

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P90x

Found this draft... never posted it.

So with 37 days in P90x quickly became P53x! I have lost a total of 20lbs burnt a total of 6500 calories in a month. Its amazing what exercise can do for you. Physically and mentally.  I'm reestablishing that relationship I had with myself when I was younger.

Its difficult to get started and everything I seem to do only frustrates me more i.e. from form, my balance and making time...coming up with excuses is the easy but dragging myself off the couch and making my body do something it doesn't want to...is a great way for getting back at myself for getting FAT to begin with. I show myself no mercy....I don't care what I say, do or feel...I will workout today.  I will push myself harder than I did yesterday. Soon enough, my body will learn my new ways and ask for more, not less.

WORRY! Some new DaddyYO thoughts...

Being a Dad. Its a balancing act- 100 story high wire act, barefoot and no safety lines. The only thing separating yourself from reaching the other side is the confidence and your ability to believe, one way or another, you will make it to the other side...no matter what!

Than again, there are days where your left hanging in the middle of two buildings, no escape and you feel failure is inevitable. I've learned, as soon as you make failure a choice/option, can failing actually become a reality. The precursor to failure is worry.

I used to worry about losing my job, being a good dad, will my kids love me? Will they look up to me? respect me??...Now-a-days, I don't really worry about that anymore. As long as I love them as much as I do and do the right things as a father, husband and role model, success/happiness for my BUGS and myself is inevitable.

Four weeks ago, I caught a glimpse of me in the mirror. I felt like shit, I looked like shit. Three days after that I was at the Dr. office. I  was asked to take my shirt off. "Shit! I'm so fucking FAT!  How did this happen? " I said to myself in the vacant room waiting for the Dr to come in.  At that very second something aligned in me. It was time for a BIG FAT change.

I was overweight, I asked the Doctor: "Can I have a heart attack? the Doctor responded: "Anyone can really have a heart attack"... So that is he's polite way of saying YES!. I was worried. "Thanks DOC for adding to my stress that is more inclined to kill me than my actual weight!" Ive recently realized so much time is spent on WORRYING! Its sickening, worrying is fantasy and is not real ... that is until it kills you!

We worry about our jobs, family to our health...what-a-waste of energy and time. I don't want to turn this into some ROCKY post! and the long story made short ...I started P90X, I'm running everyday and eating right. In 4 weeks, Ive lost 15 lbs and simply feel much better about myself and I'm just getting started.  Ya see, exercising as a DaddyYO is not all about looking good as it was when I was younger. Now-a-days It's more about my LittleYO and CookieYO.  I need to be around for them as they get older, so I can tell them NOT TO WORRY! FACT: Because nobody else will! From their teacher, coach, boss, girlfriend/boyfriend, AND DOCTOR!

....Will I pass my test? Will I make the team? Is she/he going to break up with me? Am I going to get fired? Am I going to have a heart attack!!!?? Listen closely....all these worries and outcomes... none of them matter, it never did (If someone only told me that when I was younger). Of all the lessons you learn in this life, one of the most important lessons is to not take life so seriously....take life as it comes because your worry is simply your own and its likely, in this self absorbed world, that nobody is paying ( or caring) as much attention to your actions as they are about their own.  Just take your time,  make serious decisions ( about your own love, eating, exercise, work habits etc) with the choices you're presented and everything else will follow for the better.  Don't worry.

... and as "complicated" as we make life, is as complicated we can make our own happiness. Spend time balancing yourself, not relationships. Balance your thoughts, and their is no worry. Believe in yourself and your choices and you will happier than you could ever imagine.

Love DaddyYO

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Sombody is Feeling it this morning!

While you are here.....PLEASE CLICK ON AN AD(s)! By doing so, money made from Google ads will go toward my LittleYO's college tuition