THE FAT SECURITY SYSTEM

On the boardwalk with LittleYO where I run everyday

We all, in some way shape or form, have this diluted self image of ourselves.  Some more accurate than others.  My self image was not accurate.   Relying on loves ones to tell me I was getting fat....Id still be waiting. I needed to take control and ownership of my current physical state.

At what point do we say to ourselves " I made myself this way. I made myself fat by eating the wrong things for years" instead of coming up with excuses like "having kids will do that to ya" or "I don't have time" "work is busy"- After 70 days of P90x and cardio, I realized my mind and body, without me noticing, had formed this mutualistic  relationship. When in fact ( and I have learned) they are two very different entities that should be behaving separately from each other; not controlled by one or the other.

I needed to break up this relationship between what my mind wanted to eat and what my hand reached for. It was overwhelming to realize this marriage between the two, like husband and wife. My mind, the wife and my hand, the husband. The husband reaching for whatever food the mind suggested.  I have become a "physical hand pussy"- not being able to stand up to what my mind suggested via thoughts. I was taken over by bad habits and before ever lifting a weight or pressing play on the DVD workout program...I needed a game plan. A plan to outsmart a mind that knew me all too well. I needed to break into myself and rewire the hard drive.

Now that I noticed, It was scary the number of appearances my bad habits made through out my day ... I knew by just working out it will not be the, long term, solution. "I'm going to destroy this way of thinking". It wasn't going to be easy, as I realized my fat mindedness over the years and unbeknownst to me has been busy at work building layers upon layers of what I call a "FAT SECURITY SYSTEM" . In the beginning of my "journey" my eating habits impenetrable I couldn't change them- I craved and craved...nothing I ate was enough. The security was tight, and no good eating habits got in for weeks. The rate of excuses why I shouldn't work out and why french fries are actually good for you doubled even tripled.  The harder I tried, the more excuses my body created.

Finally, I broke in...and got into my mind.  I saw her. We looked at each other, it was an intense stare down - she knew and so did I...game on. At that moment she speared a thought of a bagel and cream cheese-  lightly toasted with fresh tomato. Bitch!

Mind is scary place. The walls were thick almost sound proof, the floors made of gummy and the lights were strobe - it was difficult to see. She was trying to disorientate me. I knew this was just another layer of the FAT SECURITY SYSTEM my mind had created for this very day. The day I decided there will be no more french fries, no more five chocolate donuts nights or 4 slice pizza parties. I screamed it loud to deliver my message to her in person; it echoed...my mind was dizzy, my body drenched in sweat, my heart was 183 bpm. I was on mile 8 for the 4th time in 3 weeks.  I had her against the ropes. She's human...I needed to push harder, faster, go for one more, don't stop ....or you will die. Repeat.

Before

I didn't stop. I'm still going peeling away layers of this FAT SECURITY  SYSTEM every single day. Celebrating the small victories like choosing tuna and broccoli instead of bacon burger, french fries (Yummm) - My mind is so mad, I have her cuffed and stuffed in a corner where nobody can find her....pushing myself to run one more mile and to press play ( after the kids go to sleep) on the p90X program 6 days a week. Counting calories on my loseit app on my iphone, tracking calories with my fitbit device and measuring distance with Nike+ GPS on my runs.  Getting to know my heart with Garmin FORRUNNER and measuring my pace, speed and how my body is reacting to all of it. It does sound like a bit much but these tools have made it easier for me to shed the weight, fast. With technology and the tools I am empowered with information my mind had no idea. it was stuck in the 70's with its Strob lights. I'm on my way to rewiring my mind with better habits forever....the equation is easy to follow. Getting up and doing it is the trick. The Fat Security system makes it more difficult:

Calories in < calories out = weight loss

Control your mind, sometimes by force, and everything else will follow...but before you can do it for your family, you have to do it for yourself.

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